Fantasy and Reality

A past relationship partner I had once said I had a “rich fantasy life.” I think she was referring to the level of creativity and imagination I possessed. She suggested that I might be having issues separating what was fantasy from what was reality. That I spent too much time living in my own dream world. Today, I want to revisit what she was talking about, exploring more precisely what I think is going on.

What are “fantasy” and “reality?” It seems to me that reality is a term used to describe the way things are. Something that “matches up” with the way the world is, is reality. If I say that my glass is on my coffee table, I am describing reality because I am describing something that is the case of the world. At least, as far as I can tell, given that I could make mistakes and be in error.

Fantasy, it seems to me, is like a sort of opposite to reality. Fantasy is something that does not “match up” with the way the world is. If I say that my glass is under my coffee table, then I am not describing reality because it is not the case that my glass is under the table. Again, this is as far as I can tell, as I can always be mistaken about my observations of the world.

Fantasy and reality are certainly related to each other, especially in the examples I have given. In fact, it seems clear to me that fantasy can be turned into reality. I could physically take the glass from the table and place it underneath. Upon doing so, the fantasy has now become reality.

Does all fantasy have this quality? Can any fantasy be made reality through my efforts? This is a very difficult question to answer. I think that there are clear cases where this can be done, like my example of the glass under the table. But I also think there are seemingly clear cases where this cannot be done, like if I wanted to levitate or fly into the air. In the case of flying, I would have to further clarify that I’m talking about under my own efforts, because clearly I can board a plane or wear a jet pack and turn that fantasy into reality. In other words, the details matter.

If I had a fantasy that I could fly without outside assistance (without a vehicle or personal augmentation), that I could do so simply by thinking about it, then it seems much less likely to turn that fantasy into reality. I am sitting presently, thinking about and trying to will my body into the air, but it has yet to move. I am still stuck in my chair.

So there seems to be a range of fantasies, some of which can be made into realities, and some of which it seems incredibly unlikely that they will be made into reality. I think those things in the latter category are what my previous partner was thinking about when suggesting I had a “rich fantasy life.” For her, she was talking about things in my imagination that could never be realized in reality.

Why I have chosen to dwell on this distinction is that there are plenty of things that I call fantasy where the possibility of turning them into reality is quite unlikely. When the television series Star Trek first came out, introducing many people to the idea of a “communicator,” a wireless handheld device allowing nearly instantaneous communications between individuals at great distances from each other, it was clearly a fantasy as the time. Such things did not exist. But now, we have smartphones which connect to cellular towers and network to each other, allowing such wireless communications. That fantasy did become reality, it simply took a bit of time.

It is easy to suggest that the idea of a “communicator” could be made reality now, but I do not know if it was so easily perceived back then. There were no cellular phones when I was a child. Honestly, I was too young to consider these sorts of details. I dreamed of such communications devices, but I never really sat down and thought hard about whether those things might eventually become real. For me, it was simply a fantasy; clearly separated from my reality at the time.

Now, having lived as long as I have, my intellect having evolved and grown, I hold a stranger perspective on this topic. I recently had a fight/argument with my present partner about such things. I took a moment to describe to her what I believe: I believe that everything is possible, however, most things are incredibly unlikely, and improbable. That is, I believe that all fantasies can possibly be made into reality, but most fantasies will not.

To be more clear, my belief is that unicorns could exist. I believe it is possible that I could encounter one such fantastic creature when I leave my home later today. But I also believe the probability of such an event occurring is so incredibly improbable that I don’t expect it to occur. I do not make decisions in my day-to-day life expecting to encounter unicorns. I make decisions expecting that I will specifically never encounter unicorns. In other words, while I may believe something is possible, in the majority of cases those possibilities do not really affect how I live my day-to-day life.

Putting this another way, while I may have a “rich fantasy life,” I do not generally let my fantasies affect my reality. To be even more accurate, it isn’t that I don’t let my fantasies affect my reality, it is that I allow them to affect my reality based on how likely I consider them to be turned into reality. I see everything as a sort of probability matrix, where some events are incredibly likely, and others are incredibly unlikely. Those things that I consider to be likely to occur, I allow them to inform decision making and I prepare for them. Those things I consider unlikely to occur play very little role, if any, in my decisions and choices. I do not live my life expecting to encounter a unicorn.

In other words, for me, fantasy and reality are not as clearly cut as they seem to be for most people. For me, fantasy is something that describes how someone would like to see the world. In the case of the “communicator,” this is something people wanted to become true of our world. Those people spend a long time finding a way to make it into reality, and today we have smartphones. And I have no doubt there are people out there who truly wish unicorns were real; I suspect those people are honestly trying to make that a reality as well, though I expect them to be less successful.

For me, fantasy is a possible reality. Similar to the multiple timeline theory that is incredibly popular presently, especially in Marvel films. If there are infinite universes out there, then undoubtedly a fantasy in this universe will be a reality in another.

Perhaps more importantly, if a fantasy is a possible reality, then a fantasy is akin to an idea held by a person or people. As an idea, it is something that, given the right motivation, people might make efforts to turn into reality. The glass that sits upon my table can very easily be lifted and placed underneath the table, if I so wish it to be. My body is such that I am able to manipulate this reality in various ways as I desire. My body is a fantasy realizing machine. All it requires is for my mind to imagine a reality, and then my body can be utilized to turn that fantasy into a reality.

Seeing the world in this way, and especially seeing people in this way, really raises a lot of questions about what is going on. When Donald Trump says that the 2020 election was stolen, he has a fantasy he is trying to make into a reality. Clearly he has made a significant effort in this regard, with limited success. After all, there are plenty of other people out there who believe otherwise. Those other people resist changing reality into what Trump desires.

The fight I had with my partner specifically was whether the terrorist attacks of 911 were perpetrated by terrorists or by the American government. I recently watched a conspiracy theory video with a friend suggesting that it was the American government. I mentioned that I too believe it was orchestrated by the American government, though I came to this conclusion back in about 2002 based on my own observations at the time. This outraged my partner.

It wasn’t simply that I didn’t agree with her regarding this event. It was not like I didn’t like toast, when she did. A difference of opinion is one thing. She could not understand how I could possibly believe it was not terrorists. For her, I think, she could not (or perhaps would not) entertain the possibility that a group of people would organize themselves secretly in order to murder thousands of other people. Perhaps more specifically, that the American government would murder thousands of its own citizens for an economic or other goal. She just cannot see it. Honestly, I’m happy she cannot see such things.

Unfortunately, I can. And I can see much worse than that. I often struggle in this world because I see much worse happening all the time. Systemic prejudices and conditioning of masses of people. Why there are few women in engineering. Why industrial farming is considered acceptable. Why Donald Trump plays so much golf. My eyes are open to things I cannot close them from.

When I became aware of such things, I became paralyzed. I realized there was almost nothing I could do in this world without causing some kind of suffering. I was appalled with myself. I had to find a way to cope with it, lest I simply remove myself from the world. In a lot of ways, I should not be here at all.

But I found a coping mechanism. It is how I see the world. It is how my world view continues to evolve and grow. To see that everything is possible. To see that things can and do change. Over time. Sometimes it takes a long time.

I’m getting a bit ranty here. The point I wish to make is that I do not think fantasy and reality are as distant from each other as I used to. I no longer see them as being opposites, or part of some false dilemma. For me, fantasy is simply a way of expressing the ideas and desires I have about the world that are as yet unrealized. Through effort (sometimes great effort) I may be able to take fantasy and turn it into reality. I may be able to take my ideas and desires and reshape the world to match them. The world is the way it is, in part, because of me. And I can do something about it.